When I was about 12, we were at some relatives’ and all the cousins were in the pool. Several of my older cousins decided to shove me to the bottom of the 3 foot end and stand on me. Just as I was passing out they let me up. I surfaced, screaming obscenities. I got in trouble.

When I was about 19 we decided to cross a river on a train bridge. You can guess where this is going. Just as the oncoming train, horn blaring, brakes squealing, came abreast of us, I just stepped the edge of the bridge, about feet above the river, and it missed me.

A couple of years ago a friend of my daughter borrowed my truck. When I got it back he had left a candy bar in the cup holder, so I decided to eat it while I drove to the store. As I pulled into the lot, it jammed in my throat and I couldn’t breathe. I saw some people in the lot and decided to see if they’d give me the heimlich. I jumped out, and the impact cleared my throat. Those would-be lifesavers got to watch me puke up candy. 

Oh, and I was once hit by a speeding motorbike and then taken to hospital by ambulance with a neck brace. Never thought I was close to death though. My knee took the brunt, then my head hit the asphalt. The bike had to be towed away...

This is hard to top!

I worked as an electrician for about 15 years from the 70s to the 90s. Back around 1987 I was working with a small crew rewiring the 27th floor of Shell Centre in downtown Calgary. One day we were moving and reconnecting fluorescent fixtures, most commercial buildings lighting circuits are 3 phase 347 volt, although the circuit breaker for the fixture I was working on was off I was probably hit with the unbalanced load, anyway I was being electrocuted and I could not let go of the AC90 cable I was holding. I was 8 feet off the floor, my chest above the T-Bar ceiling and could not make a sound. I tried to yell but only made a "ack" sound, my muscles were constricting and could hear my elbows creaking seemingly on the verge of popping out of their sockets. The only way to get myself off the cable was to buckle my knees let myself drop to the concrete floor. Needless to say I was off work for a couple of days.