Keep in mind that "tool" is also a slang term for the male reproductive member, and that many of our more prejorative terms come to us from this source. Thank you Oliver Cromwell.

The female counterpart of your useful equipment is of course a tool grinder.

Also, by (penis?) extension tool is criminal slang for carrying arms as in the expression 'going into a job tooled up'.

Back when I was in college, I read an (unintentionally) amusing newspaper article about prominent feminist Germaine Greer making a speech at a school in Australia, where, we were informed by the article's writer, she peppered her talk with "a euphamism for sexual intercourse." The old relaible "fuck" can be called many things, language-wise, but "euphemism" is not one of them!

I remember watching Letterman back when he was on NBC, and Dave making a comment about them having to bleep out the word "pissed" from a guest's discussion.  Nowadays that word isn't even blinked at when heard on tv and radio.

Where is fake Russia?  I want some fake vodka.  And one of those hats.

Have you tried Disney World? They might be able to help you out. I had fun in fake Mexico, Fake Italy, Fake Denmark(or was it fake Norway?), and fake Canada...

Breast cancer episode in MAUDE, if I recall, eh?

I have 13 and a 12 year old. Shit is never proper, but poop and doodie are fine. Crap, by their mother's edict, is not! Piss is never proper, but pee is fine. Tit is never proper, but boob is fine. Um, boobs are fine?

Anyway, indeed they are.

Oh, and fuck is never proper, not so much even in euphemism. When discussing human behavior, reproduction, etc., we just tell it straight but with medical terms. Anyway, even very little kids today are used to vagina and penis as proper terms.

Addendum: The 13 year old boy, however, loves the old expression: make like a hockey player and get the puck out of here!

Apropos levels of offensiveness I always think 'prick' is worse than 'dick' which in turn is coarser than 'willy'.

Shit has only recently become offensive, I remember reading some 19th century literature which referred to 'shitehouses' without a blush, and conversely as a young teenager I quite shocked my uncle by opining that I was 'knackered' as in his day that was a factory floor not a schoolchild expression.

In his Responsio ad Lutherum, Sir (Saint!) Thomas More calls Luther an "ape, an arse, a drunkard, a lousy little friar, a piece of scurf, a pestilential buffoon, a dishonest liar," and avers that:

>>Someone should shit into Luther’s mouth, he farts anathema, it will be right to piss into his mouth, he is a shit-devil, he is filled with shit, dung, filth, and excrement; look, my own fingers are covered with shit when I try to clean his filthy mouth.<<