PALIN PASSED OFF SCHOOLMATE’S WORK AS OWN

MSNBC has learned that at least once during her school years that Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin hired another student to produce and submit required assignments for her.

Using a team of two handwriting experts, an expert in art history and an economist, MSNBC has been able to construct the following story:

At some point in late 1968 or early 1969, Palin, then know as Sarah Heath hired another student to produce kindergarten artwork which Palin (Heath) signed and submitted as her own. We can now verify that the other student was Michelle “the fixer” Bondi.

Here’s how the scam worked:

Bondi was known throughout Wasilla Elementary School as a student who not only was willing to play fast and loose with the rules, but also had an unnatural fondness for tollhouse cookies. It is now known that at sometime during moose hunting season, when Palin’s (Heath’s) parents were pre-occupied with their yearly moose hunt, an entire tray of chocolate chip cookies, intended for the hunters turned up missing.

At the same time, MSNBC has been able to obtain 3 different pieces of artwork bearing Sarah Heath Palin’s signature, and experts now believe that while the signature is clearly Heath Palin’s, the artwork most probably is not.

“Although the signature on the drawings is much different from Heath Palin’s current signature in that the signature on the drawings is printed and consists of the random use of both upper and lower case, one can clearly discern the similarities with Heath Palin’s current signature,” observed handwriting expert Eudora Wolf-Slattery. This assessment was verified with a second handwriting expert.

Art history expert Forrest Trees made this observation, “ Look here at this earlier submission that we know to be (Heath) Palin’s and compare it to the suspect submissions. The earlier work uses color and a style reminiscent of early pointillism, while the other work is clearly more modern and influenced largely by the cubists. Clearly not the same artist.”

“Barter is a well known problem in our elementary schools, and certainly cookies would be the coin of the realm in the lower grades, kindergarten included,” stated economist Sonny Graph.

While school officials were stunned when confronted with these allegations, they stated that it would be difficult at this late date to take corrective action such as rescinding Heath Palin’s kindergarten graduation.

Michelle Bondi, interviewed from the Polar Bear bar in downtown Fairbanks said “I don’t remember the Heath broad. Yeah I did some stuff when I was younger, but I’ve moved on.”

The McCain-Palin campaign could not be reached for comment.

MSNBC will continue to update you on this breaking story.