Hey All, I know it's mostly drawings here but I was hoping to get some feed back on a comic script I wrote.  I hope this meets with the group's approval.

page 1

1 *Interior - evening - small tavern - young, arrogant, well-dressed, if rakish, man (Fitzroy ), holding small gathering of flowers behind back, smiles stroking the bar-maid's ( Hudson ) face, while younger looking, more conservatively dressed man ( Blackrose ) looks on - narrative in boxes underneath*

circa 1890 - George Fitzroy, my room-mate, had been toying with Mary Hudson for weeks now. Bribing her charms away with talk of love, covering up his petty cruelties with occasional gifts,

2 *Exterior - day - sidewalk - Fitzroy walks arm-in-arm with well dressed young lady, laughing (exiting scene ), Hudson waves to him in background*

but still refusing to even acknowledge her when in the company of high-born girls.

3 *Same - Hudson turns away crying ( midground ) Fitzroy / lady walks on ( background ) Blackrose looks on from across street, frowning ( foreground )*

Even if we were not rivals in every other area, I would still contest his treatment of her.

4 *Interior - evening - tavern - Blackrose smiling, spreads winning hand, holding most of pot, Fitzroy sits with sour face and little money, Hudson looks on from behind bar*

Perhaps it was my own fault. If I hadn't taken all his allowance in cards, he might not have stolen her savings.

5 *Interior - night - Hudson's room - half-dressed Fitzroy takes small bag from under mattress, while Hudson sleeps*

Then again, he probably would have.

6 *Interior - day - Airedale home - Close-up of jewelry box as Fitzroy presents brooch to very rich young lady (Airedale), she is surprised and pleased*

But I simply had no choice when he used her whole cache to buy that lavish brooch for Brittany Victoria Airedale, the spoiled only child of a widowed duchess.

page 2

7 *Same - Hudson sitting on bed crying *

I wasn't really sure what I was going to do, but my heart ached with the injustice and cruelty of it.

8 *Interior - evening - tavern - Fitzroy sitting with hands laced behind head, feet propped up on table and smiling broadly at frowning Blackrose, with dismayed Hudson looking on*

I might have done nothing but fell sorry for Mary, if George had not bragged to me that with his gift he had at last impressed upon Brittany that he indeed had the social standing to court her.

9 *Same - Blackrose standing with arms spread and frowning face lecturing Fitzroy, Fitzroy crossing arms, throwing head back and laughing, ( background ) Hudson hiding face, running out of tavern*

Shocked, I reminded him of his oft-hinted vows to Mary. He laughed and called me naive.

10 *Interior - night ( low gas light behind Blackrose ) - Blackrose & Fitzroy’s rooms - Blackrose just closing door, looking back in on sleeping Fitzroy *

Later that night after the campus was asleep, I snuck out of the dorm,

11 *Interior - night - Main Hall - Blackrose looking in on elderly porter sleeping at desk*

past Old Bill, Christ Church's porter of some years,

12 *Exterior -night - Main gate - Blackrose stepping past gate and onto street*

and off campus.

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13 *Exterior - night - street - Blackrose sitting on back of hansom cab*

I hitched rides on hansoms until I was near the Airedale's apartment.

14 *Exterior - night - street outside Airedale home - Blackrose stands looking up at house*

Once there I searched for a way in

15 *Exterior - night - gate beside Airedale home - Blackrose looking over gate at dog in courtyard looking the other way*

without rousing the staff.

16 *Exterior - night - alley way on opposite side from gate - Blackrose looking up at rose-covered trellis, which extends past balcony*

I finally decided to climb the trellis which reached up to Brittany's room.

17 *Exterior - night - trellis - Blackrose climbing and wincing, thorns catching at hair and clothes*

The climb was slow going as a vigorous rose had made the climb before me and sought to impede my efforts at every step.

18 *Same - close-up of hand with many scratches on palm and fingers, rose / trellis in background*

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19 *Exterior - night - Airedale's balcony - Blackrose climbing onto balcony with hair and clothes torn and disheveled *

I finally made the window and was covered with tears and scratches for my effort.

20 * Interior - night - Airedale's room - Blackrose stepping towards Airedale's bed*

Once in her room, I could see the truth of George's claim.

21 *Same - same - tight on Airedale laying in bed with brooch pinned to night gown*

Brittany had worn the brooch to bed with her.

22 *Same - same - Full view of Blackrose pinning brooch to shirt*

After carefully removing the brooch, I went to pin it on my own shirt

23 *Same - same - tight on Blackrose shoulder, pinning brooch, hand scratched by rose tangled in collar*

and was scratched by a rose that had tangled itself there.

24 *Same - same - Tight on Blackrose’s head and shoulders, Blackrose sucking hand, but with "inspired" look*

Even as I hissed and made to succor my latest wound, inspiration stuck.

page 5

25 *Same - same - Blackrose bending over Airedale's bed, putting rose on night-gown*

I removed the rose and placed it where the brooch had been.

26 *Same - same - tight on Blackrose's head, him smiling ( dream-picture of Airedale scratching her hand on rose when reaching for brooch)*

If I was to be punished for my crimes, everyone else should be as well.

27 *Exterior - night - rose / trellis - Blackrose climbing back down, roses pulling at hair and clothes*

The climb back down was even slower than my assent. Every step seemed to have become a battle for freedom.

28 *Same - same - Full on Blackrose, roses in hair, clothes torn, scratches on face, spots of blood on white shirt, face and hands*

When I finally touched terra firma again, I was sure I looked a sight. My clothes were in tatters and bloodied from a thousand tiny wounds.

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29 *Interior - pre-dawn - Blackrose & Fitzroy's bed room - Blackrose sitting up in bed, naked save for sheets but still disheveled and dirty, hair is longer*

I don't remember exactly how I reached my rooms before morning. However not only did I gain my own bed before the cock crowed, I still somehow awoke before George. I was unexpectedly refreshed, but this was not to be my only shock.

30 *Same - same - view from above, Blackrose holds hair hanging near chest in his hands*

Upon raising my head, I realized that my hair had grown considerably, apparently while I slept. It was now well below my shoulders. Even my usually well-groomed side-burns, my only facial hair, was now streaming down my chest.

31 *Same - same - Blackrose rushing to bathroom, thrown sheet covers privates from readers' view*

I immediately made for the bath.

32 * Same - electric light - Blackrose & Fitzroy' s bath, rear view of Blackrose looking in mirror cutting hair as long strips fall to floor which already is covered*

I had had some practice cutting my own hair and I think I made a fair job of it.

33 *Same - same - over shoulder view of mirror reflecting Blackrose's head, hair is fairly choppy but approximate length before growth, Blackrose with sour expression*

I could always go to a professional later.

34 *Same - same - side view of Blackrose in claw-footed tub*

Then the biggest shock settled in as I bathed.

page 7

35 *Same - same - Blackrose wiping cloth across chest and shoulder, skin is perfect underneath, while area un-wiped is still dirty and appears scratched*

The scabs of my wounds came off with a touch revealing perfect skin underneath. No cuts, no scratches, not even a single scar, no trace of the battle I had waged just hours before.

36 *Interior - dawn - Blackrose & Fitzroy's sitting room, A middle-aged, yet dapper butler ( Duncan ) straighting up, Blackrose enters wearing bath-robe, quotes in balloons*

The surprise must have showed plainly on my face for Duncan, George and my's scout, commented on it as I entered the sitting room.

"Sir, are you quite all right? You look as though you've seen a ghost."

37 *Same - same - Full view of Duncan standing to side of Blackrose, hand touching Blackrose's hair in back of head *

"Whatever it was must have disturbed you greatly if you have taken to being your own barber again."

"No, I am fine, Duncan. Thank you for your concern."

38 *Same - same - above-shoulder view of B with hand on back of head and wiry smile*

"As for my hair, I suppose I trying to stretch my allowance move than necessary".

39 *Same - same - waist high view, Duncan ( frowning )& Blackrose facing each other*

"Mr. Blackrose, my duties are to administer to all such requirements for Mr. Fitzroy and yourself. Have I been so derelict in my performance that you were driven to butcher your own hair?"

"No, of course not, Duncan. Your services have been ne plus ultra. George and I could not have survived Michealmas without you."

40 *Same - same - full view of Duncan steering Blackrose into chair*

"Well then, perhaps you will allow me to retain my good name and yours by sitting still long enough for me to tame that lion's mane of yours.”

page 8

41 *Same - same - shoulder view, Blackrose sitting, Duncan standing behind holding wisp of hair in one and scissors in the other*

"I swear sir, your hair gets thicker every time I cut it."

42 *Same - daylight - full view, Blackrose sitting as Duncan holds two mirrors for Blackrose to see himself, cursing (in balloon ) comes from bed-room*

By the time Duncan was satisfied with my coiffure, George was awake and cursing the bright sunlight streaming through his window.

43 *Same - same - front view, Blackrose holding mirror touching side-burns, Duncan standing up straight, brushing hair off Blackrose's shoulder, eyes to side toward door behind him*

"Duuncaaan !! Duncan, fetch that hideous mélange you claim is so cathartic. I have an important engagement with Brittany this morning", George yelled from the next room.

"Coming, sir."

44 *Exterior - day - Christ College quad - long shot view of Blackrose crossing toward kitchen*

Leaving Duncan with the unenviable task of nursing George's hangover, I made my way out of the dorm and across the quad to the kitchens. Even though Duncan was a fine cook and George and I had grown prosperous on his teas and suppers, I still preferred to arrange my own breakfast. This morning I was famished, much more so than the night's adventure should have left me.

45 *Interior - low gas light - Blackrose in kitchen putting together breakfast*

I found a few eggs to scramble and sausages to fry. While I cooked, I thought about last night and what to do with my prize. I was certainly not going to keep it, that was never my goal. I couldn't very well hand it over to Mary, George would accuse her of stealing it.

46 *Interior - gas light - Blackrose at kitchen table, with half-eaten breakfast, thoughtful expression*

I finally made up my mind to sell it and see that the money found it's way back to Mary.

page 9

47 *Exterior - after noon - view of Blackrose showing broker brooch through front window ( remember to put three golden balls above sign outside )*

After my morning classes, I made my way down to a certain pawnbroker, who was in the habit of buying from my fellow students without asking awkward questions about where certain family heir-looms had come from or why they needed to be liquidated.

48 *Exterior - afternoon - Blackrose leaving shop with heavy purse in hand, smiling, in background can see broker still in shop, smiling and using jeweler's glass over brooch*

After a short haggling session, we arrived at price he claimed was exorbitant, but knew was a steal. I left his shop with the full amount George stole from Mary and a little to boot. Perhaps the future mercenary was making himself known, but I decided to keep the extra for myself. It certainly was not the gentlemanly thing to do but I did not see the harm in it. Mary would get back everything she lost and would perhaps be a little wiser next time. While I could come a little closer to doing that bit of traveling I had been thinking about.