Hmmm. My idiotic e-mail from Tom had the phrase "failed writer" in it too.

 I guess that counts as a rough jab where Tom comes from.

I suppose I AM a failed writer in the sense that I never tried to make a living by writing. By those lights I'm also a failed construction worker, failed astronaut, failed nuclear submarine captain, and failed neurosurgeon.

Bummer.

Emery, I'm sure if we compare notes, we'll see "Tom" has probably cut and pasted most of your letter to me and vice versa.

It's shorthand for "Tom's" dismal lack of stamina. Being that "Tom" is such a fast typer and all.

Kevin, did I mention that I am also a failed mammoth hunter, video game software developer, and Antarctic explorer ? I've even failed (so far) to achieve apotheosis.

These are some rather tough facts for me to face right before Christmas as I sit alone in my Mom's basement.

Oh #@#$!

Now, I've gone and failed to live in Mom's basement as well. In fact nearly everybody I know has failed to have a basement in their house at all, due to the clay and limestone around here. There's nothing but fail, as far as the eye can see.