Posted: 06 April 2018 at 9:20am | IP Logged | 1
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Over on THE IMDb SHOW they ask Patton Oswalt what he thinks is "the most useless super power," and he picks Aquaman's ability to talk to fish. To underscore his choice he invokes the popular misconception that fish have memories that last only seconds. He then says his first choice of a superpower to have would be Nightcrawler's teleportation. Apparently he doesn't like to fly, and thinks that is a power that would have one constantly worried that it was going to "cut out." Not to dump on Mr. Oswalt, but this represents the kind of narrow, ennui-engorged thinking I see all too often in adult fans (and too many pros). Let's take Aquaman. (I'll refer here only to the comics, not the f***ed up version of Namor in the movies.) He can, indeed, "talk to fish," and because they don't have micro-memory, this provides him with a fantastic network for communication and information gathering. Batman would give his cape for such a thing. Nightcrawler, on the other hand, is incredibly limited. He can teleport only along his line of sight, unless he wants to risk materializing inside a wall, or a tree, or a passerby. (Presumably his BAMF on arrival serves to clear the area of dust and air molecules.) This might make for travel faster than walking, but it's not much good for really long distances. (Even without the "scientific" considerations Chris shoehorned in -- much to Len Wein's annoyance!) Some of the most popular powers are "useless" on their own. Flight and super speed, as well as super strength, depend on a degree of invulnerability. Don't want friction burning off one's skin, or having one's bones shatter when lifting huge weights. This is why superheroes are, or should be, all about FANTASY. The real world too often gets in the way of the FUN.
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