But: 

Imagine me explaining that to someone I know (who hasn't read a Superman comic since the 80s).

Seems easy - if you want to Google and do "homework". ;-)

Is Kenan Kong still around? Wasn't Lois Lane in her own Superwoman title, as part of this whole Rebirth reboot?

And if DC has well and truly put this sort of thing behind them, what was up with this post-Rebirth ("Afterbirth?") pile-up of a storyline?

"Rebirth" seems to be anything but a refutation of alternate Supermen. It looks like it openly embraces the concept pretty happily.

And true, I forgot about Kenan Kong. He's not Kryptonian and he's over in China. There's now a Justice League of China. (And why not? Logically, since China has more people than the U.S., they should probably have more super-people too.)

As for "Superwoman"...Lana Lang is currently Superwoman. How she got powers, I can't even remember. Can't read every title. Her book just got canceled anyway. Who knows if she'll keep the powers. I do know that she's married to Steel (John Henry Irons). Her marriage to Pete Ross ended over ten years ago (real time, not "comic book time").

Did your friend read DC comics before 1986? If so, s/he remembers Earth-Prime, "our" Earth. 

Anyway, Superboy-Prime hasn't been seen since 2011, I doubt he's coming back, so it makes no difference, really.

And "the New 52 was DC's attempt to reboot their multiverse starting in 2011, it fizzled out, we found out that it was the result of Dr. Manhattan from WATCHMEN altering reality (we don't yet know why), and since late 2016 we've seen a sort of amalgamation of the pre-2011 and post-2011 continuities." 

It ain't THAT hard. 

It was Superman looking and acting a lot like I expect Superman to act, and he was teaching his son Jon about the anniversary of Krypton exploding.  It had a good feel to it--I could easily imagine Curt Swan drawing the story.  I may have to come back next month.

***

Yep. One might not like the plotlines of SUPERMAN and ACTION COMICS since late summer 2016, but the writers are definitely writing Superman and not "Superman." I don't see much personality difference between today's Superman and the one JB wrote except that he's now much more experienced with "cosmic stuff." 

Are there Romance novels out there that exhaustively stack this interpretation of Elizabethian England with that one, counting exactly how many romantic castles there could possibly have been in counterpoint to the number of possible dark, stormy-eyed lords and virginal young governesses, determining that the Nora Roberts and the Georgette Heyer continuities are in fact incompatible, but must exist alongside one another in a sort of suspended, eternally troubled stasis which allows countless other romantic universes to exist and influence one another as well? Will there be a gigantic summer crossover in which the Phillipa Gregory cosmos attempts to exert Royal influence over all others, as is its divine right, and scatters the more than 700 Barbara Cartland heroines throughout the Romantiverse, all searching for some means back to their homeworlds and the bodice-ripping, domineering men who cannot admit they love them? And who is the strange, bare-chested figure who seems to appear across all timelines and reality bases...? Be certain to buy all forty-one crossover novels this summer, readers, when the Romantiverse explodes with the question... "And from whence comes... Fabio??"

Romance novels are not like that because that is an insanely stupid storytelling construct and their readers would not put up with it, even though it now seems to be the only storytelling construct DC seems capable of generating anymore, with Marvel biting fast upon its heels. Barbara Cartland readers have better taste than we have, and make far better choices with their spending capital. 

The whole situation is even worse in these times when we've sat still through how many reboots and re-imaginings already and we know... we KNOW... the result is going to be another half-assed, halfway-there, weirdly politicized collection of half-measures and sketchily devised "solutions" that will quickly collapse in upon themselves bringing about yet ANOTHER ZeroCrisisTimelineBirthSaga in which we discover the Hand Krona envisioned was that of cosmically empowered Little Lotta* from the fast-approaching Luluverse, come to smash into us, and thereby fix everythingeverythingeverything?

Guys, it's broken. You broke it. Leave it alone now. Stop fixing it. Go try to write a real story now. If you can't, leave your keyboard, and we'll try to hire someone who can. Go. Shoo.

* Because she is, you know. Seriously. She could beat Herbie, and nobody can beat Herbie. Squirrel Girl probably could not beat Herbie.

Well said, Mr Hague!

I tried reading some of the later CRISIS arcs (2000s), but it all seemed anal and about the events. Yes, about the events.

I recently enjoyed THE INFINITY GAUNTLET via comiXology: Thanos gets all six Infinity Gems, Marvel heroes, villains and cosmic entities battle him. It was about stopping the big, bad Thanos. It was six issues long. But if it had been about the multiverse, the reality of the multiverse, multiple earths and so much else, it would not have been appealing.

I don't think DC needs to do ANY more examinations of its reality, the multiverse, anything else, etc.

What do I do if I'm curious about Superman, Batman, Flash, the Justice League? It seems that that's ten or eleven books, and fifty bucks is a lot of investment just to see if maybe I want to start collecting again. And if those books are continued stories... well, the easiest answer is either go to the library to see if the collections are there yet, or - and this is what DC doesn't need - don't worry about 'em, and just ignore what's happening. And heaven forfend if there are any crossovers going on.

I'm not sure I can see a way for them to get those monkeys back into the barrel and get old collectors back.