Good luck, Arc!
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Thanks Joakim . Well, if you read my previous post then you already know how things went...

And Juan Jose, thanks for the advice . I think that would have been more subtle. I had to do it the rough way...

To be 25 again! You took a HUGE step in your interpersonal development and should be VERY proud of yourself! It will be easier next time.

You have a new friend that you know is gay, that you can talk more openly with, bond with, and through which you may even meet new friends and potential new dating partners! This is a very good thing, despite the disappointment you are feeling about his being in a relationship. This is a good thing!

And there is plenty of time to "feel 40" when you get there.

I didn't have sex until I was 27.  Don't sweat it, Arc.  Of course, I AM a freak of nature...

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Well Kevin, I'm getting there. I just feel awful when all my friends are bragging about their sex life .

Marc: Thanks for your words. I would have loved to be John's boyfriend. I guess I'll have to accept that we can only be friends, at least for now. It's funny, but before yesterday I had only thought about 2 possible outcomes: 1- he was straight and that would be the end of it all. 2- he was gay and we could be a couple and I would feel actually happy for the first time in almost a decade. It never occurred to me that he could be gay but already in a relationship. I honestly didn't know how to react, I sort of knew how would I feel in the first and second scenario I had in my mind, but in the end I wasn't able to predict what would actually happen...

Well Kevin, I'm getting there. I just feel awful when all my friends are bragging about their sex life.

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I hear ya, Aric.  But don't fall for false metrics.  There are plenty of good reasons to have sex.  Catching up with your friends is not one of them.

I turned down two women in six months back when I was 22.  I wanted them both, badly.  But there was something not quite right, so I passed.  I will confess that I was just getting Out There in the world and just assumed these offers would keep a-coming.  Nope.  Five long years of nothing ensued...

Kevin : Sometimes I feel like a pathetic loser for being a virgin. It seems like everyone my age has had sex hundreds of times already. But you're right, I shouldn't get too obsessed about it.

Joakim: Yes, I guess it's progress, but I don't feel like I've accomplished much...

Jodi: John has just arrived to Peru a month ago. And the only other Peruvian gay he knows is the one he is dating right now.

Juan Jose and everyone else: Thank you for your words. It means a lot to me. Ever since I quit therapy I have no one to talk to about my personal life. I mean, all my friends are straight and they don't really know what I'm going through. You are all great. I feel lucky for counting with so much support here.

But at least they're getting some...

And who knows, Arc -- the boyfriend may be a dodge, too.  Maybe he's making it up because he's afraid to commit to a real relationship right now.  I've known plenty of guys with pretend boyfriends for plenty of reasons. 

So you get to be friends and if the relationship grows, who knows what will happen?