What someone does in private (pending they're not harming someone) is their business. 

I may be out of line, but I think attaching that label to some marginalizes them.  Meaning, the person may be a teacher, lawyer, doctor, etc. and should be judged on their own merit.  Attaching "gay" in front would seem, at least to me, "oh, they're a good <blank> for a gay person" instead of praising the accomplishment(s) on their own. 

I meant no offense and not saying people should hide who they are, just that it's no one's business but their own and shouldn't be a basis for judgment.

Talk about the trifecta there, Ed!  The 80's at Cathedral high and the early years of AIDS, oh my!

Labels just really irk me!  I stutter/stammer at times and it was really bad when I was a kid.  Some people, including "intelligent" teachers, thought I had mental retardation.  When placement tests were given and I scored in the top percentile, that confused the heck out of them.

There was a teacher in my high school that was a bit effeminate at times and people would make jokes about the guy.  Nevermind the fact he was married and his son went to our school.  Felt sort of bad for the kid.

Nevermind the fact he was married and his son went to our school.

Sounds like a lot of gay guys.  On the other hand, I live in DC...

QUOTE: Sounds like a lot of gay guys.  On the other hand, I live in DC...

True, Tom.  He may have been or not, but I think labeling him as such had more to do with that he acted in a manner that was perceived as "different" and labeling him as "gay" or the much worse derogatory names was acceptable.  Everything in its place, right?

Everything in its place, right?

I don't know -- part of me says, "Sticks and stones..." 

I mean, if it really bothered the guy and he didn't stand up for himself, then I don't have much sympathy.  Bullies tend to pick on people who allow themselves to be bullied.  People make jokes about me all the time and I sling 'em right back.  I've gotten over feeling sorry for people.

My statement had more to do with that some people have a need to pidgeonhole people into different categories.  If they don't fit into one, then somehow they fit into another.  I've moved on from that place.  Hard to get nostalgic for that place.

Being bullied is miserable and I do get some joy out of seeing how some of those lowlifes have fell from grace.  I had reached a point where I realized there's no point in trying to fit-in with these sorts of people.  I had ideas for my future that didn't involve staying stuck in the podunk area I grew up in.  So any insults flying my way I usually just ignored them or just reminded the person that they'll need to know those six magic words at their future career: "Do you want fries with that?"

Bullies tend to pick on people who allow themselves to be bullied. 

As an adult sure, but not as a kid.  A bully's greatest strength is to make a kid feel powerless.  As a kid who was bullied quite a bit, it's very scary to face these guys.  I never allowed myself to be bullied and that's a bit of blaming the victim.  Young kids can be pure evil, moreso in junior high than high school.

Yet if the kid who was bullied defended themselves, they'd be the ones in trouble, not the piece of trash who instigated it.  Someone had recommended I do this (though it never got to that point) - let the administration know what is going on so when they most likely won't do anything and you actually do something about it, they can't claim it was unprovoked.

I agree, Ed.  It definitely makes kids feel powerless, especially when those you would turn to for help don't care.

I'm never having kids (have to actually go out with someone more than once or twice to get that far) but if I did, I'd make sure they knew how to defend themselves.  May sound crass, but telling someone "leave me alone" just spurs them on.  Leaving them on the ground twitching makes sure they and their cronies won't bother you again.