Joakim I love that as a man you are willing to show your feeling and shed a tear. I understand what you are saying about feeling weird/numb that you have not cried. I feel really bad I never really cried when my mom died, we weren't emotionally close, we were just so different. I loved her and was sad to lose her, I did shed a tear at the funeral, but I knew we would never have the closeness my grandmother and I had.

I think we cry the most for those things we know we will miss the most. I think sometimes it's that feeling of, I am so sad there will be no more shared moments, that get to us the most.

Oh and I wanted to also say, if any of you ever make it to Indiana you are welcome to stay with us.

I went with a new personal crest

Don you must be so proud.

 I have a sixth grader that HATES reading, and I believe it is because no one at school, has made reading fun, in fact they took what we had encouraged as a wonderful opportunity to explore far away places and people.  And turned it into a "if you don't read you are punished by missing reccess, so you can sit inside and read".

I just ordered the book and am excited to read it.

And please mods do not remove the link.

Damn straightest gay thread I've ever seen.

Or gayest straight thread ... take your pick.

Joakim -- I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend.  My paternal grandmother and I weren't tight, either, and when she passed, it took me quite a while to find a way to mourn her. 

Don -- I also ordered a copy of your book!  No worries, either.  I've linked to my own before.  (on the other hand, I'm a whore)  Anxious to have you sign it!'

Jodi -- your coat of arms is great!  It's like your ancestors knew!

I'm sorry for your loss, Joakim.

I had a similar situation when my dad's mom died when I was about 9 or 10: I didn't really react to it. We were in Winnipeg at the time, I saw her, but we'd never seen very much of my dad's parents (my mom didn't like being judged by my grandma and the distance made things easier) and I don't remember feeling any great sense of loss. I always got the impression that she was somehow... disappointed in us three boys, as if she didn't want anything to do with us. Turns out later that she was constantly bragging about how big and strong and athletic and blonde we were, I had no idea she even cared. In some ways the lack of emotion was harder, as if there was something wrong with me, that I didn't care about my own grandma dying but in many ways she was more of a stranger to me, and a stranger that seemed to judge us and find us wanting. My dad told me that she loved intelligence (she was a teacher) and would have been interested in us when we became interesting and I do regret not having the chance to see if that was true but overall I still have no strong feelings.

Don, that does look like an interesting book, and I hope it covers one of my pet peeves; boys not reading. I've read some articles (and seen some anecdotal evidence) that say boys do not read nearly as much as girls do, and most of those articles put the 'blame' (I don't think blame is the right word, it seems more like a natural extension) on the fact that most elementary school teachers are women and tend to teach what they know, books that they like, that they think are great, which is good because it helps if the teacher is enthuisiastic about the book. However, books that appeal to grown women, and books that they loved as children, are not usually the types of books that boys would enjoy reading. As an aside I hope it's obvious that I'm talking in generalities, of course there are girls who love boy's stuff and vice versa, I'm just talking about the overall trend.

All of that might be true, and might be a contributing factor, but I've read a lot of children's books over the years and I have to say that I would have hated a lot of the newer books if I had read them as a kid. The boys in the newer books are usually not very bright (or if they are bright they're jerks who are reformed by girls), or they're not very athletic. Their best friend is usually a girl, who is both smarter and a better athlete and the girl is also usually the adventurous one. The boy has to be dragged into the adventure and then learns life lessons along the way. As a kid I hated books with life lessons, I got enough lectures at home and at school, I hated books that told me the proper way to be myself, I hated books where the lead character was a coward, or a wimp, or stupid. I actually enjoy a lot of these books now, but that's because I am no longer identifying with the main character, it's no longer ME living that life, having those adventures. I cannot dispute the skill in the writing but I do have to ask; are those books written to be read by boys? Or is it another way to lecture boys on how bad it is to be a boy?

If boys aren't reading, could part of the problem be the books that are available to them? I understand that girls are the majority of the market when it comes to kids books, so it's most probable that the publishers are just chasing the market that is already there. My argument would be; that's fine, but there's a whole 'nother market over there starved for product that you used to provide. You don't grow a business by only serving your existing customers, you grow it by targetting potential customers.

I've had this discussion with friends of mine and one actually stated something along the lines of; books for boys naturally insult girls and she'd rather not have those kinds of books available to boys, so as to not foster the attitude that was there in the boys she grew up with. I conceded her point but then asked that if books written for boys were naturally insulting to girls (damsels in distress and the like), then wouldn't the reverse probably be true? That books written primarily for girls would naturally be insulting to boys? She rejected that argument on the grounds that female writers and educators were too intelligent to make that mistake. This is a very good friend by the way, and she constantly tries to tease me about being a male chauvinist (a label I reject, I certainly don't believe women are inferior to men, nor do I believe women deserve lesser opportunities.), but I maintain that she actually does believe that women are smarter and more moral and better at most things than men. She believes that the reason girls read more is because girls are naturally better at it than boys (which might be true, though I always point out that boys used to read just as much as girls and something has changed), and she also believes that the reason boys outscore girls on science and math tests is because of a clear gender bias, fostered by the school system on purpose to keep girls out of the workforce. It's always an interesting discussion.

I think that kind of book can certainly help a lot of people (specifically teachers, though I think parents could also benefit), but getting boys excited about reading might not last long if there aren't books available that they want to read.

Oh, and David?

That Boar's head on your crest looks familiar....