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Geoff Gibson
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 21 April 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5744
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 7:49am | IP Logged | 1
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I have a very close immediate family but also a close extended family. My mom was one of five kids and I was the oldest grandchild. I can say all of my cousins are friends as well as kin. And I like getting together with them. My older daughter already has a special bond with my 19 year old cousin (a sophmore at my alma mater I am proud to say), who is more like a little sister to me than a cousin. Our family shore house always has extended family there in the summer. There's always a cousin on a sofa or aunt in the kitchen, or a friend on the deck (we "adopt" strays). My mom's mom had a saying, "theres always room at the table and we can always find a place for someone to sleep." No one was every turned away (obviously, they kept me!). I wouldn't want it anyother way.* And in a lot of ways my wife wouldn't either. She loves the kids, and loves seeing them with our kids. She's come around with my family in a lot of ways but every now and again she gets overwhelmed.
My wifes family on the other hand finds holidays to be chore. Its always what you can't say rather than what you can. It is an obligation. And my kids have noticed. My wife and her brother were the only grandchildren on her moms side. They have little to no contact with her Dad's family. My brother in law moved to South Carolina and comes up a couple of times a year but the "reunions" are somewhat forced and contrived -- and controlled by my mother in law. Its always the bare minimum. Thats not to say they don't love each other -- I think they all do. I just don't think they like each other all that much.
*Unless I win the megamillions -- they we buy the two houses right on the beach on our block (we are six houses from the ocean) and create a family compound . . . Gibsons, Reillys, O'Reillys and Callahans as far as the eye can see! God save the beer store! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Edited by Geoff Gibson on 13 March 2009 at 7:56am
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Mike Purdy
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 29 April 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 1455
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 7:52am | IP Logged | 2
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Sofa king...ooohh I'm trying that one today
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Mike Purdy
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 29 April 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 1455
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 7:54am | IP Logged | 3
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I think I'm close to my family...I just don't do the phone or visit thing much. For instance, I hear from my brother more from this forum than any form of actual communication.
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Moyer Hall
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 09 August 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 1135
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 8:19am | IP Logged | 4
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I'm close to my family, but I only have one sister, and she lives almost
2,000 miles away in San Diego, the 'rents live 400 away in Memphis, but I
miss them all like crazy! If I lived in S.D., I'd see my sister at least once a
week.
My partners family is so weird. All his family lives within a few miles of
each other, but I might see them once or twice a year. He's a little closer
to his younger sister, but with two young boys who demand to be
involved in every little thing we do, it's hard to just hang out without two
high-maintenance boys who want to be part of the conversation.
His mom lives with him...ahem, "us" and it's often time just a real
awkward situation. She's not a loving mother in any sense of the word.
Often times a simple conversation between my partner and her will blow
up into an argument. It's often both their fault, and it's years of
frustration between them. It's just very stressful. I'm really over it and
want to move out. I've had a couple blow ups at her too, she's a very ornery woman, acts like the most wonderful person with the neighbors,
but can be a downright bitch to us.
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Geoff Gibson
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 21 April 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 5744
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 8:23am | IP Logged | 5
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Sounds like she'd be fast friends with my mother in law.
You know why they call 'em in-laws? Because Outlaws are wanted.
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Bruce Buchanan
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 14 June 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 4797
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 9:46am | IP Logged | 6
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I guess I'm lucky that we're close to both sets of in-laws, both geographically and in spirit. My folks live about two hours away, but they're semi-retired, so they visit frequently. My wife's parents just live in the next county over, so her mom serves as our primary babysitter.
My son is crazy about both sets of grandparents and I think his life is and will continue to be much richer for their presence.
I get along great with my in-laws. My father-in-law is a big sports fan like me. He and I go to a lot of games together - N.C. State football, Carolina Hurricanes hockey, minor league baseball. I couldn't have asked for a nicer family to marry into.
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Juan Jose Colin Arciniega
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 16 April 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 6413
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 11:18am | IP Logged | 7
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When i was single, i used to be very close to my mother and sister. Now, with my partner i still am, but not as close as i used to be. My family loves me and respects me and my partner. My partner and i visit my family once a week, and share some time together. My partner has been adopted by my family.
But on the other side, my partner's family lives in the states and are divorced. My father in-law is very lovely and we get along very well. He visits Mexico twice a year and phones at least once a month. He's remarried and his wife is very nice.
His mother lives in a retirement home, and she's not so well. My partner tries to avoid her.
Edited by Juan Jose Colin Arciniega on 13 March 2009 at 11:20am
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Pedro Tavares
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 11 May 2004
Location: Portugal
Posts: 669
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 11:40am | IP Logged | 8
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i live a few blocks from my mother my brother my sister and my grandparents. :|
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Al Cook
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 21 December 2004
Posts: 12734
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 11:46am | IP Logged | 9
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My wife and I get together at least once a week with my parents. Every
Tuesday is Cook Family dinner night; we alternate houses (they live just a
few blocks away), with the hosts making the meal and the guests bringing
desert. My brother who lives in town frequently joins us. We also get
together with them or bump into them often - one of the joys of small town
life.
Her parents? The fact that they live 7 hours from here makes a good
excuse, anyway...
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David Ferguson
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 17 March 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 6782
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| Posted: 13 March 2009 at 6:31pm | IP Logged | 10
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I visit my family 2 or 3 times a month (it's a 45 min train journey) and they come up and visit as I live in the city. My brother lives nearby as does one of my cousins so we meet up for coffee, DVD nights and the cinema.
I get on with the "in-laws". They live about an hour or so away by train too. (I don't drive so everything is measured by train or by foot. I don't care for these "units of measurement":)).
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Joakim Jahlmar
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 10 October 2005
Location: Sweden
Posts: 6080
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| Posted: 14 March 2009 at 10:59am | IP Logged | 11
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Moyer wrote:
“Does antagonizing a miserable woman with road rage immediately mean you're gay? I guess so...”
Must be. I mean, you obviously antagonised her and you were both gay... How could there not be a connection?
Michael P. wrote:
“Fundamental couple difference:
I am a cat person, my wife is a dog person.
Consequently, we have no pets.”
Still, that’s a fundamental difference “easily” overcome. Imagine if one of you had been a dead set pet person and the other not. The solution to that one isn’t nearly as easy. Especially as there’s no way for both parties to “sacrifice” their own position, nor any halfway position. And then you're stuck with a position where one party will have to yield their ground and concede victory to the other.
Tom wrote:
“Whereas Eric is big on family and ‘showing up to things’ and ‘responsibility’ -- words with which I have only passing acquaintance. And I'm not a big fan of his sister's husband -- especially after their kid fed my dog a wine cork -- yet there we are at their house all the freakin' time...
Not enough hilarity ensues.”
Here’s an idea... how about feeding the kid the wine cork? See how fun they find that...
Andrew H. wrote:
“Joakim said ‘Apropos of the “that is soo gay” line, I've told you guys about the “gay buccaneer” thing right? ’
************
Not on any of the pages I've seen...”
Ok, I tell it (possibly again) then:
A while back my girlfriend got a hold of David Niven’s memoirs – The Moon’s a Ballon. She got it from one of her Bookcrossing friends and it was an older copy from 1974. So, one day some time after she’d received the book, she comes in to me, while I’m in the office at home in front of the computer, and says something to the effect:
“Do you know anything about David Niven being gay?”
“No,” says I. “I’ve not heard anything about that. What makes you think he might be?”
My girlfriend holds out the book to me, back cover facing me, and I read the following preamble (in BOLD orange letters) to the back cover blurb:
“DAVID NIVEN – humourist, athlete, actor and gentleman extraordinary, a gay buccaneer who has painted his portrait in hilarious colour.”
And my brain short circuits for a moment, seriously raising the question more or less just posed to me by my girlfriend only a moment earlier: “Was David Niven gay?”
Then my brain starts functioning again and goes over the text again and realises that this is with very little doubt “gay” in the older sense (synonymous to happy, merry and whatnot), because
A) I’d heard nothing previously suggesting that Niven was homosexual (which obviously isn’t a deal breaker when taken on its own; there be plenty of gay people I’ve never thought to be gay until presented with that particular fact),
and more importantly
B) even if Niven had been gay, it didn’t strike me as something he would necessarily have opted for writing about in a memoir first published in 1971, or at least not something the publishers would have opted for putting in bold print at the top of the back cover as a marketing device.
Still, it does look kind of funny to an eye steeped in the current meaning of the word gay and I don’t think our reactions were that far from what many people might go through upon seeing that blurb.
(Now hoping the story was good enough not to leave me with at least two disppointed "customers" – Andrew & Michael T.)
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Michael Tortorice
Byrne Robotics Member
Joined: 15 November 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 2903
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| Posted: 14 March 2009 at 11:11am | IP Logged | 12
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I'm not disappointed. It was a good story. And I'm kinda glad that David Niven probably was never the Angry Pirate.
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