I still think Tom and Eric will be parents -- and those kids would be lucky to have you guys.*

*But so we're clear -- Moyer would not be the adoptee, okay?  I meant you guys would wonderful parents to a child.   Sorry needed to add a pithy comment the thread was turning into a Capra film and I. . . . must . . . be . . . cynical . . . .

Geoff great topic and I have really enjoyed reading all your thoughts on this subject.

I think at the age, some of you are on here, it would be unusual to not have doubts about life, you are working to build your lives. No one gave you a book to say how to do it, so you kind of, just keep plugging away hoping what you are doing, is the right thing to do. 

 I think moments like Geoff had, are great moments because it makes you look at your life and comfirm that it is good, which you guys did. You all sound like while there may be some wistfulness, you are pretty darn happy. I think if you don't have doubt, you can't appreciate the good in life.

I had cancer at an early age, in fact twice, and it gave me a chance very early, to love almost every single moment I take a breath.  So mundane days become great days. I have had the luxury of not being the sole bread winner, Chuck has worked hard and had luck in finding a wonderful, well paying job.  His job and his encouragement affords me a chance to follow my passions.( luckily I have been able to make money from those passions.)  But spending my early adulthood thinking that I may not live a long life, makes me thankful for each day I do get.

Brian wrote:
"I neglected to thank those of you who commented so nicely on my photos earlier today. I'm embarrased at the oversight. I appreciate the kind words, and as soon as I can find the time I will scan and post some more."

Well, to really make up for it, you'll have to go out and take some more new ones as well... wouldn't want your artistic muscles to atrophy or anything, so I'll be using any excuse (like that one) to get you out into the world armed with your camera.

Geoff wrote:
"I'm not old, I'll be 35 in a month* and I enjoy the stability of my life now, I enjoy most of my domestication, but sometimes I feel restrained.  And I wonder, is that part of the maturation process?  As the man said 'you can't pretend that getting older never hurt.'"

Well, having recently turned 33, which I believe is supposedly the age referred to by Dante in Inferno when he writes "midway through my life" (so at least, it's not midway anymore... mostly, knock on wood), I can certainly understand your ruminations (even though I've got no kids to answer for).
In my darker moments, I get the feeling that only some years ago, so many things seemed possible, reaching for the stars was so much easier while even maintaining a sort of devil may care attitude to whether each venture would succeed or not. These days I fear there are far too many times I don't even make the attempt at certain things, because I can't see the possibilities (that may or may not be there, but at least not necessarily more or less so than back then).
Ah, Geoff, now you got me into ruminations as well...

Tom wrote:
"But I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  I'm still the same me, even though I'm older.  You know how you sometimes think, 'I wish I could go back and do it all again, knowing what I know now...?'  Well, I would never want to do that.  What happened to me in those times -- with that insane amount of ignorance -- made me the man I am now.  I mean, changing the outcome of certain situations might look good on appearance level, but that would substantially alter the lessons I took away from those moments."

I agree with the latter half of your argument, Tom. We are who we are today, because of all the choices we made (or even those we didn't make) all of those yesterdays that's gone.  I would, however, argue against the "you still being you" thing, since I'm getting more and more convinced that our very notion of a rather stable identity is somewhat of an illusion we maintain. As such, I'm not so sure we would recognise ourselves in our younger selves if we could actually meet them (which barring a complicated time travel scenario seems rather unlikely, I admit). At any point we interact with those past selves, through memories, perhaps writings we've done or people we've met, we still "read" all those things through our present selves, and more often than not look for the (alomst narrative) links that supports our notions of an ongoing unified identity...  But hey, I'm thinking, Geoff started me off on some deeper thinking, and maybe I should shut the heck up before bringing the whole thread mood down a number of notches. Appo-pologies, my friends!

Al wrote:
"And even though the thought of not being with her is almost incomprehensible, I sometimes find my self contemplating the simple fact
that if I were with someone else, I likely would not have this hole in my life. And that every day that passes, the likelihood of my being a father becomes ever more remote."

But then again, Al, life certainly seems to be a game of checks and balances, so if that hole were to be filled, that, of course wouldn't preclude another hole replacing it elsewhere. From what I've understood here and elsewhere, you're marriage is giving you a lot that quite a few other married people I've encountered don't seem to have, so maybe you have something where theirs have holes, so to speak (and not very eloquently put... must be off my game today).
And without wanting to stick my nose to deep into where it may not belong (and if I happen to do that anyways, just tell me to bugger off), there is always adopting as an option along the route.  Biology in all honour, I fervently believe in something Andrew Vachss writes (which I come to think of it may have already quoted a couple of pages upthread): "Biology does not make a man a father, nor a woman a mother. We are what we do."  And like Tom, methinks you'd do great!

Brian wrote:
"Now, on to something more serious...your wife shares the same sense of humor?? Why....the mind reels......"

So... we're changing the comedy show title to The Cooks and Talley show? (speedily pronounced as "the cook some Talley show", of course)

Oh, and Eric and Tom adopting Moyer just seems a very bad idea. Too many comments already in place in here makes that type of configuration way too incestuous to what would be healthy in most cultures.   ;)

You could always adopt me, Al.

Al have you thought about the big brother program?  Or have you thought about being a foster parent? The neighbor that lives behind me is adopting a little boy that was a foster child, he is 9 months old and she has had him since he was 3 months old. The parents were very young and just didn't want to be parents. He is a doll and such a happy little guy.

I'd watch the Cook and Talley show but if the Kilts come out I'm switching to the Standard Def feed!