I knocked on wood first, Al.

Real wood too, not morning wood. Since it was afternoon and all.

I'M HOME FROM SCOTLAND!!!!  And I've got SLIDES!

Let me tell you, what a freakin' long-ass journey home that was!  Flight from Edinburgh to Heathrow was easy-breezy, but then we sat on the tarmac waiting to fly across the pond for two-and-a-half hours while they fixed -- not an important fuse, not the seal on the door, not the engine -- the entertainment system!!!!!

So, eleven hours in the plane later -- and two movies (I mean, they spent all that time fixing it, I may as well have used it), IRON MAN (hadn't seen it, yet) and KING KONG '05 remake (completely forgotten about that stupid, stupid, ice-skating scene in Central Park, honest to monkey-shit) -- we finally touched down in the USA. 

My husband was happy to see me -- though not nearly as happy as I was to see him, but I was too exhausted and jet-lagged to really DO anything about it (if you know what I mean... ) -- but my doggies were jumping up and down like crazy things, their tails wagging so hard and furious that they were throwing their hips back and forth.  THAT'S love, my friends!

Don Miller, what the bloody F*@# kind of pictures are you putting on my wedding page?  Egads, man!  What are you trying to do, make me STRAIGHT?

Hallmark is now making gay wedding themed card

We got several of these at our little shindig.  They're nice, but VERY Hallmark...

Of the "non-Hallmark" variety, my favorites were the ones that said to "Him and Her" and the sender would cross out the "Her" and replace it with a hand-written "Him."

...not morning wood. Since it was afternoon and all

Egads, man!  What are you trying to do, make me GAYER?

edited for jetlag

Well, she's... ample.

My first thought was Rubanesque.  Liked that video, kind of old school.  Never seen them before, Al.