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I agree with most of the individual points you make, but I disagree with your conclusion.

I don't identify with my families' history. I could care less. That's my parents' thing, not mine. I enjoy some of the cuisine, but I'm never going to visit their country of origin. I don't care. Why should I? I'm American.

I do identify as Asian-American. Why? Even though other Asian-Americans have different ethnic origins in countries with their own histories, we have many things in common. We've dealt with the stereotype of the perpetual foreigner, immigrant parents, friends thinking it's weird to take off your shoes inside the house, people who fetishize Asian culture, high expectations in school, and a myriad other of ways we have things in common with other Asians than non-Asians.

Does every Asian-American deal with every one of these things? No. Will this identity shift over time? Sure.

Latinx covers a wide geographical area, cultures, history, and skin colors, but they are all countries impacted by Spanish colonialism and Spanish Roman Catholicism. Don't you think that affects identity? Asian countries have their individual histories, but being geographically closer, they share more history and traits in common with each other than with non-Asian countries. Don't you think that affects identity?

It's great to say "race" doesn't exist and all, but people don't form categories based on DNA sequences. We use our eyes. We identify by physical characteristics. 

I don't identify with my families' history. I could care less. That's my parents' thing, not mine. I enjoy some of the cuisine, but I'm never going to visit their country of origin. I don't care. Why should I? I'm American.

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That's why I said, 'Their own histories' first.  Ideally, people should be their own person and figure out who they are, abstracted from all these other things.  And everybody just identifying as 'American' would be a huge step forward.  Then we'd have to move on to, "That doesn't mean non-Americans are somehow bad..."

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Everything you list here is what I'm talking about when I say that 'Asian' is a label applied by people not from Asia.  What all Asian-Americans have in common, in your own words here, is how they are treated by people not from Asia...and that's all you list.  So I don't think we disagree as much as you may think you do.

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Right, but grouping people together based on visible characteristics, like skin color, perceived ethnicity, dress, gender, age, etc. and then interacting with them based on that rather than as individuals, is pretty much the definition of prejudice.

If your point is that comes naturally to human beings, then I agree.  Humans evolved this tendency as a survival mechanism.  But at this point in our existence, all forms of tribalism are the cause of a lot more violence and evil than they is it helpful.  At one point in our species' history, forming tribes was a necessity for survival.  I think now, more likely, overcoming tribalism is such a necessity.

"Anyway, for as long as I can remember, I've described myself as "beige"."

Olive for me.

I'm half Italian, and have been mistaken for middle eastern decent my whole life.

Well it's the Mediterranean so same vicinity anyway.